so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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