A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
