you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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