We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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