I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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