Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
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we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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