what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
