You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
