Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize