AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so let's talk penis.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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