You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
