the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
