i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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