I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
