That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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