This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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