Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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