he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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