Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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