the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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