idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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