I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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