If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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