I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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