Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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