I wish life had little blips of pornography
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize