I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
