just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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