omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
