you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
