the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
