I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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