So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
well you can't waste a boner
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize