he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
