It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
