Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
