I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
