"it" just moved
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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