Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
