Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize