All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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