So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
