Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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