yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
