its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
