could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
