wanna go halves on a baby?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
