In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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