do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
