i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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