We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
