so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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