I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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