When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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