Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
