Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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