is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
