i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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