You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
