if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize