This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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