I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
this is an emotional support booty call
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
