Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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