Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize