Can Purell be used as lube?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
