How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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