Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
