Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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