roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
