He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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